Testimonials

The women residents of Riverside came from the dark side of the moon where abuse, neglect, chemicals, family sorrow, and trauma were the only ways of life they really knew. Loss of freedom, health, their “personhood”, and death were expected destinations – survival a detour and a rich “quality-existence” in life a mirage. But upon crossing the Boulder treatment center threshold, strong winds of life breathed through them – often for the first time. And with them they brought keen intuitions, the wisdom of hellacious experiences, and work ethics like no others I had ever seen before. I have been in the business of doing therapy for over half a century; and these women – princesses and queens all – came to break bread with their souls. I had never been part of such power and empowerment until Riverside.

The readiness they possessed to shake their souls to the core “and” the setting the incredibly noble, dedicated, and open-minded staff brought to the same altar for this eucharist of change were profound. “Almost-miracles”, magic, and the gifts of deep learning were passed around by staff and residents in brimming chalices. My journey as a psychotherapist has taken me to multiple inpatient and outpatient places in several states, but Riverside was the only “stay” where I thrived so fully as student “and” teacher with every fellow employee and literally with every woman who walked through the door. I was honored and – honestly – blessed to be part of this new, needed, and exceptionally successful experiment.

Hope and happiness are usually temporary flirtations with reality, but at Riverside I sensed, heard, and saw the residents of such salty lives become “empresses” who, alas, sniffed the wild possibilities of what the human spirit can do, can become, “and” a self-love they did not know existed. The “Riverside people” – these amazing “scholars of love” – made the environment available for the “Riverside women” to do their growing and evolving with newfound trust and even joy.

That Riverside closed down is more than a mistake. It is a sin with Corrections taking poison hemlock yet again. It was the best experience for many people wherein letting go, loving, moving forward, and where miracles of varying degrees happened for everyone. It was far beyond just a state institution. It was a special place that is a model for how to do it right and treat everyone with the dignity we all deserve.

There are too many things I wish to say to everyone, to the world, yet that would consist of me writing my own book and that isn’t my purpose here. Growing up being sexually, mentally, emotionally, psychically abused by not only the people closed to me, people I thought I could trust, but by honestly anyone I could remember. Being just 5 years old and having my innocents taken away, having no one to talk to, nowhere to go, no one to trust anymore, simply nowhere to run, but yet having so much to run from. Being one of the first 100, actually one of the first 50 girls to go to Riverside was such an incredible experience, it’s truly unexplainable. Riverside and the people there gave me something that was awfully taken from me at such a young age. It’s been years and the people that created and operated that program had such an impact in my life, made more of a difference than anyone else I had ever met before. They gave me hope, a purpose, a voice again. They gave me back what I had been missing for years, and that was my life. I could spend the rest of my life trying to do something for Riverside, and all of the people, to give them some sort of recognition and appreciation but I feel I would have to spend the rest of my life and that still would never be enough for me. Riverside was filled with hopes and dreams of the women that lost them outside of those walls. Every girl I met there actually wanted to work for the company because everyone was so happy, so amazing, so different then everyone else in this world. I hope that every correctional counselor that I had the honor of meeting & getting to know reads this, because not a day goes by that every morning as I wake up, before I set my feet on the ground, there isn’t one of you that I don’t thank god or the creator for your existence. I am forever filled with so much love & gratitude for being able to say that I was one of the luckiest women to get to experience the magic that Riverside held, the miracles that became reality in those very walls themselves. This world needs more opportunities like this, it changed my entire perspective and saved my life.

I was a resident at Riverside Treatment Facility from October 2016 through February 2017. My experience at Riverside was literally life-changing! I have been sober for 3.5 years now and my quality of life is so much more than I could have imagined it could be! I still live in the same town with the same people and the same everyday problems. But thanks to the Riverside program, I now have the tools and the confidence to face those obstacles. Before Riverside, I felt lost and alone, like there was no hope left for me. But the program and the staff did a lot to help rebuild my self-esteem and faith in myself. The most memorable aspect of the program was how they only allowed positivity to reign there. That positivity was the steppingstone to my progress. At Riverside, I was reminded that I was a person worth loving and that I had to love and respect myself. The problems or obstacles that I felt couldn’t be overcome, they helped me work through. During my stay, I experienced Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, sober, for the first time in years. I was reminded that these holidays were about gratitude and happiness. It was the first time in a long time I went to bed early on New Year’s! All of the staff were amazing and never treated me like I was a criminal. They inspired me to be a better version of myself. They made me feel appreciated after years of feeling less than worthy. Many of them even went out of their way to spend a few moments offering advice and saying goodbye the last night I was there. That went a long way to make me feel like I had been heard and that what they had shared with me during my time at Riverside was genuine. I wasn’t just another number, I was number 26 and I am grateful for the staff at Riverside Treatment Facility, the Riverside Treatment Program and, “clouds that touch the mountain, especially in the morning!”

I worked as a Correctional Counselor at Riverside Recovery and Re-Entry Program from September 2017 to May 2018. Working as a counselor was a fun and rewarding experience. During my time at the program, I had the opportunity to teach group lessons such as, Thinking for a Change, StrengthsFinders, and Practicing Positives. It was interesting learning about the residents’ past experiences and I enjoyed sharing some of my own as well during group discussions. The recreational activities were a blast and the staff were encouraged to play. We played sports like Wall Ball, Softball, and Basketball, and even had some gym time. In some circumstances, I even had the residents exercising on the unit with me. The most rewarding part of the job was counseling the residents through difficult times and watching them develop coping skills throughout their time at the program. Riverside was an exceptional program that employed staff who truly cared about the success of the female residents.

How riverside changed me as a person.

When I first came to Riverside, I didn’t realize I was lost in my own idea of what I thought I knew about myself. I had no idea who I really even was then. There were so many staff there that spent so much time making sure we had the time and resources to really get to know ourselves. I believe the more you know yourself the more confident you can be, and the level of confidence you have in yourself will impact the amount of negativity you allow in your life. Every night we would have time to say what we were grateful for in that moment. Listening to what others were grateful for really opened my eyes to what I was grateful for without even recognizing it otherwise. The book we worked in with Ms. Champagne was deep. The questions in the book were sometimes hard to answer. But writing them down, knowing they were private and safe was so healing. It was like writing it down to give it away so I didn’t have to hold onto it in my own mind anymore and I could finally be free from it all. When I left Riverside, I was confident in myself in a way I had never been before. I spent my entire time there getting to know myself as me, without anyone from my personal life getting involved in my mindset. I grew as a person. I learned me as me. Now I have my children back, I run a multimillion-dollar business, I have purchased my first home, and I am 4.5 years clean from my addiction. I am strength, I am survival, I am confidence, I am me and I don’t need anyone’s influence to change me. #81 “Confidence isn’t walking into a room and comparing yourself to everyone around you, its walking into the room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place”… be you. be free.

I was a resident at Riverside from December 2017 to March of 2018. This was the best treatment I’ve had (I’ve been to a few). I learned many things there and met some of the most compassionate people, it was great knowing how much the counselors and all the staff genuinely cared about each and every one of us. It was one of the most positive experiences of my life. Thank you, Riverside!

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

My name is Charlotte and I went to Riverside from November2017 to February2018. I was your typical bad attitude, “you can’t teach me anything” addict. Boy, was I wrong. The family bond between the staff there and the personal attention they gave me helped me realize in my muddled world of addiction, I wasn’t alone. I lashed out and acted out many times while I was there. They didn’t just throw me in a room and shut the door. They came and taught me right from wrong, shared their own life stories, and reminded me that I was enough. Ms. Champagne was amazing!! I was so filled with self-hate that many times she just said to me, “why do you hate this wonderful person so much?” I never understood how amazing I was until she opened my eyes. I am over two years into recovery from drugs and four years recovered from a ten-year long domestically violent marriage. I have a beautiful healthy relationship with my children and a very respectful man that loves ME. Riverside showed me how to love myself and how to be okay with the wrongs I have made in my life. Thank you.

Wow, wow, wow! This book is a MUST read for EVERYONE! Addiction is an incredibly destructive force in our world today and people like Michael and Rhonda are the ones who are going to start a movement in the treatment world. I am a recovering addict who has been through every State facilitated treatment program you can think of. Although I learned much while in these programs, I still came out feeling broken, or just not quite whole. The story of the two sides (trauma therapy and DOC security) coming together in unity to love those who were at their lowest is heartwarming and powerful. You are sure to enjoy the witty banter between the Therapist and Lieutenant as they battle out their differences before coming to a solution for all. The ending will have you fired up and ready to stand firm for this cause of Correcting Treatment in Corrections.

I just got the news about Riverside and am heartbroken.

I’m so happy I was sent to your facility over any other in Montana. Riverside made me who I am today: a mother, fiancé, daughter, sister & friend. I have been sober for 3 years now. I never thought I’d be where I am now… buying a house, starting my own business & being the best mother I can be! Riverside made me feel like I had a chance and that my life was worth more. Thanks to all of you who cared endlessly for all of us women trying to survive!

I wish to commend my coworkers of Riverside. An absolutely amazing group of caring, compassionate & professional people.  Who came together and bonded through trainings, meetings, at times arguments and tense debates, but always empathic listening & respectful compromise. Staff of every positional title played an equally important role in creating a safe, therapeutic, accountable and healing environment for women inside the justice system. All staff ensured an atmosphere where women dealing with significant emotional trauma could start to experience self-value, confidence and self-forgiveness so they may give themselves permission to live a healthier life.  While no program is perfect, this was a place where incredible transformations were possible and happened through a trauma informed and trauma responsive platform.

The residents of Riverside deserve acknowledgment for each of their unique personal journeys. They did the hard and deeply personal work of learning to trust the program, developing healthy relationships & boundaries and when appropriate “letting go…”  Their personal struggles & triumphs taught us so much about the human spirit and it was a privilege to be witness to their transformation & personal victories.

Riverside helped me in so many ways. I never knew that trauma was a part of our problems…a big part. I went there thinking, “no way”. My trauma was as little as my parents splitting up when I was 13, or my ex boyfriend beating me till I was black and blue. I sat there in Rhonda Champagne’s class and listened to so many people’s stories and talking about my own, some stories mine could never compare to. And crying with those who told their heartbreaking stories and them crying with me to mine CHANGED MY LIFE. I never felt so much love then I did when I was sitting in that room with those ladies. The staff at Riverside had so much love for us and helped us in any way that they could. I have been through so many treatment centers and institutions. But without a doubt, Riverside was the best one. I felt loved, I never had to worry about being thrown in a cold room by myself with food being shoved through the cuff port, or a male or female officer coming in and strip searching us “because they felt like it,” like they had a reasonable cause or something. I feel like all DOC treatments need the trauma setting because the way we are treated in those other DOC treatments is sometimes worse than the way we were treated on the streets, and who’s that going to change??? Today, I am 2 years and 3 months clean. Riverside showed me how to love myself and pick myself back up again even if I did fall.

My name is Taisha and I was at Riverside from September 11, 2017 to December 13, of 2017. I got arrested on May 1st of 2017 and part of my sentencing was I had to go to a treatment program. I researched a couple of different places before I put my application in to Riverside. I knew that with my drug addiction it was going to take more than just a 28-day treatment center. I heard about Riverside when I was in jail. I did some research on it and found out that they not only treated the addiction, they bring the trauma from your past to the light and helped you with working through it. That was something that I needed, and I knew it. The staff at Riverside, especially Ms. Champagne, helped me through a lot of issues that I had. Ms. Champagne really helped me realize that I am worth being alive, that I am worth having the love of my family, and that I really do love myself. Since my stay at Riverside, I have moved to Nebraska and I am now in college doing everything that I didn’t even think was possible. There are not enough words to express what Mr. Johnson, Ms. Champagne, and all of the other staff members have done for me. I know for a fact that if it would have been any other treatment facility, I would be back on drugs, if not in prison by now.

“I am pretty, but I am not beautiful.
I am good, but I am not an angel.
I sin, but I am not the devil.”

Working at Riverside and learning what it means to be trauma informed changed my life. In the beginning, I believed trauma was only related to events such as combat PTSD or severe abuse. I learned trauma takes on many forms and influences people on many levels. Trauma cannot be measured from one person to another. It’s affects are personal and can only be diagnosed by the individual. At Riverside, I witnessed everyday people suffer the effects of the trauma they have endured. I saw how their trauma can directly and indirectly be the root cause of their addictions and criminal behavior. But the truth is, although I learned of trauma and what it can do to a person’s life, I never really understood it fully until Riverside was shut down. It was during this time I divorced from my marriage, lost custody of my second child, lost my job, fell into addiction yet again and I even committed a crime. More than one. Despite all I knew of trauma I still wasn’t able to cope appropriately. It all just seemed to happen so fast. I now, fully understand the effects of trauma. Good people can make bad choices when their trauma is not addressed appropriately through uplifting and positive treatment.

Our correctional treatment systems spend far too much effort on breaking people down who are already broken. Trauma treatment is about supporting and teaching people to become powerful and confident. This is how people change their behavior and their lives.

I am so proud of all the women I met in the Riverside program. They are truly the bravest, strongest and most powerful people I have ever met.

What Riverside did to my life? It did everything! If I could explain Riverside in one word…“Heaven”. I was always trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged my whole life. Going into Riverside, I was a follower trying to fit in. And by the end of it, I was a leader. I watched a very close person to me kill himself while I was sitting in the car with him. That was my rock bottom. That’s when I knew I needed to change. Without Riverside, the people, and the trauma treatment, I would not be as successful as I am today. Getting into Riverside, I never acknowledged the things that happened to me, like the rape and molestation. It wasn’t until I began to talk about it that I was able to realize I had been hanging on to these traumas in my life.

Today, I have over three years clean and sober. I have a nine-month-old daughter. I have confidence and a drive to live a better life. I have never been to a DOC facility like Riverside. Riverside is all about positivity. And if you don’t want to talk about something, you don’t have to. I have a life that I never could have imagined, and it might not mean much to some people but to me, it is everything and more. I credit this to my higher power, trauma treatment, and all the staff who worked at Riverside.

After my son was killed in 2015, I hit rock bottom. Homeless, robbed, trafficked, hospitalized, I had lost everything, and I didn’t want to change. In jail I decided, I wanted sobriety, but was discouraged to hear experiences of women who had gone to treatment. I told my story to a woman who looked at getting me into Riverside. I was accepted and relieved. I hoped this place wouldn’t re-traumatize me like other facilities I heard of. When I arrived, I felt a sense of safety and hope which I’d never felt before. I was treated with compassion, kindness and never re-traumatized. The things I loved the most were binary beat meditations, vagus nerve work, our specific strengths and Law of Attraction. Ms. Champagne taught me that I have the power to do anything. Her techniques helped me so much that I study it daily. Her intention was to help people heal the trauma which would help the addiction. My life after graduating looks 100% different and gets better every day. I get to be a loving, attentive mom to my redhead called Todd. I study success principles daily with mentor Bob Proctor. I own my own company and am integrated partner at ‘Food for The Soul’. I have a car, home and family. I dream of the things I’m doing with my future. I’ve been told that I inspire people with what I’ve overcome. This wouldn’t be possible without Riverside. THIS is the place that, not only confronts the root (trauma), and the weed (addiction), but also provides soil for more desirable growth. I’m so grateful for the things I learned at Riverside because I know that I wouldn’t be where I am without someone reminding me that I’m worthy.

When I got to Riverside, I had just lost my best friend and number one support, my dad. My one and only sibling, my brother, had lost his battle with this disease while I was in prison back in 2013, and I never got to go to the services to say goodbye. Two years before getting to Riverside, I was a victim of someone else’s sick hustle, and told I was very lucky to be alive by the investigating officer because he knew the whole story already. While at that time, I continued to struggle with processing it all from the brain damage. I survived being kidnapped, raped, and almost beaten to death. The part that was the most traumatizing to me was, that it was the people that I called friends who set me up. I had been a victim to many negative obstacles throughout my life, even back in my childhood I dealt with mental, physical, and sexual trauma. I had a very traumatizing experience in MSWP as well, and because of my continuing downward spiral of a lifestyle, I had become almost immune to the wrongs that would occur throughout my stays under the Department of Corrections.

Here is the reality of showing a human that they are human beings and deserve to be treated as such. It’s been 28 months, and I’m still sober. I graduated Drug Court and I worked a perfect program while in it, so my record with them was expunged. I have custody of my two beautiful children after 9 years of not having them. I got my license back, and I drive a decent SUV. I was asked by Drug Court to assist with Zoom Meetings on Thursdays, so I’m getting ready to do that soon. I work at a treatment center here where I live, and my boss is the counselor I had before I went to Riverside. She also paid my room and board for me so that I could take the training, Peer Support 101, because of her faith and unconditional love for me. I passed my test and am in the middle of getting certified with the state. I was able to face my offender at his change of plea hearing. He’s getting 40 yrs., and I was able to get my voice back. Now I’m involved with empowering others who don’t quite have their voices back, and supporting them until they do, and after. I did end up getting a few ailments from the incident, and it does include a TBI, and vision impairment. The difference is, I choose to deal with my issues by staying in counseling, I’m sponsored in a very well-known 12-step program. I meditate, because while being taught how to at Riverside, I was able to make peace with my faults to my brother and dad. I could be better at the working out part of it, but the thing is, I was educated on how to care for myself in multiple aspects including routines, cleaning, cooking, and earning money while I was there. I keep myself surrounded by like people, people that have the same thing in common with me. They’re going places. I helped develop a Native Program with a very close friend and we are getting ready to launch here next month. I learned to put myself first or I’m no good to the ones I love. Ms. Champagne taught us all that we need to allow the little girls in us who were hurt out, and allow them to feel that they are safe now. That if we are balanced, including spiritually, mentally, and physically, then we have a better chance at beating the pants off this disease. I found my higher power there. I found my Creator again, but of my own understanding. I was able to go whatever way I wanted to with my spirituality, but I lead very courageously with a great team. The Riverside team that actually cared and took the time to listen, counsel, and have fun with us. They showed me that I mattered, and that I didn’t have to own that enormous bag of ‘no good’ I showed up with at the front door. I pass all that wisdom I was given to not only mychildren, my clients, fellow human beings, and my boss. We are huge on articulating what works. I think back and it was like a dream, because it’s all gone now, and it’s not fair to those who didn’t get to experience it and who need it. I truly believe if we had these all over for men, women, and children they would fully benefit hugely like myself, and many others. I’m a livingtestimony that it works, and I’ll continue to fight for what is right until the day I die. Because I realized that my purpose is to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, because I was one once, before the Riverside Family fought for me.

Picture this, a young girl in a reform school, then going to jail and living most of her adult life in correctional facilities. That girl was me, a 52-year-old recovering addict. While locked up in one of those facilities, I never learned my lesson and always felt ashamed of my situation. After my son shot and killed a man, I relapsed again and was sent to a treatment facility that changed my life.

When Riverside Trauma Therapy Treatment Center picked me up, I felt kindness from the staff immediately. I was actually called Melanie and quickly found out that I belonged in this type of treatment program. There were good days and bad days, as to be expected, but the staff at Riverside taught me self-worth and it was then that I realized that I was more than just a number. Ms. Champagne, my trauma therapist, made me realize that I had a reason to live and fight for. STRENGTHSFINDER 2.0, written by Tom Rath explains, “We were tired of living in a world that revolved around fixing our weaknesses. Society’s relentless focus on people’s shortcomings had turned into a global obsession. What’s more, we had discovered that people have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies.” This quote taught me that people thrive on positive reinforcement, and that negative responses can cause you to have negative actions. After taking the test provided with this book, I found that my top 5 strengths were adaptability, belief, deliberative, empathy, and restorative.

After spending 4 ½ months at Riverside, I found that I did not want to leave. I felt at home and believed that I could be thought of as an actual human being. I would not have made it this far without the love and communication with my family, for the first time in 12 years. I also got to start spending time with my 13-year-old granddaughter. I am currently enrolled in school at Post University, hoping to get my Business degree. These are just some of the things I have gained with positive reinforcement while in a drug treatment program. Nobody can be as hard on you as yourself.

Riverside really helped me, and I know that it can help others as well. Before it closed its doors, I was hoping that my son could experience what I had gone through. Not only did Riverside give me the courage I needed to move on in life, it also gave me the skills I needed to make it in the world today. Thank you, Riverside, for showing me how to better myself without making me feel like a criminal. Thank you, Ms. Champagne, for helping me to see the real me. Lastly, thank you to my friends and family who have supported me through all of my inconsistencies and have made me happier in life.

The Riverside trauma-informed program changed me as a person. It was a program that if you bought into it, you bought into the idea of helping yourself improve as a human being and move forward. Everything was a choice and a choice that you got to make. As a correctional counselor, I felt that the program helped every woman that entered it, to some degree. And the ones that put in the hard work and effort, changed their lives forever because of it. Just ask them, they will tell you, I promise. I never thought I’d find myself enjoying going to work every day wanting to be there. Helping people and seeing the results of your hard work is a great accomplishment, and that’s what we did. You take the good with the bad and you make it the best it can be in the moment. My favorite thing about the program was playing wall ball and baseball with my coworkers and the residents, laughing and having fun. It was a great place to be in my life and if it ever came back, I would be the first one to say I’m in!!

My name is Stella Marie Ereaux. I was 42 years old when I was accepted into the Riverside Trauma Recovery Reentry Program. Upon arriving there, I was a mess. I was broken, confused, full of heartache, and pain. I was letting myself be a victim, especially after I became an orphan. When I was in Riverside, I learned how to love myself. The staff, which consisted of mainly male officers, treated us women with the utmost respect. We were treated as equals and not just a number, something you don’t see within the Department of Corrections. At Riverside, we were not stripped searched, we did not have to squat and cough, bend over and spread our cheeks. We were not dehumanized in any way shape or form. It was Riverside where I found myself, the one who was lost. I have been able to forgive myself as well as the people that have hurt and betrayed me. Riverside taught me how to deal with my trauma, and for that, I am extremely grateful that I was one of the lucky ones chosen to go there!! The DOC needs to bring it back, they need one for both men and women. If there were more programs in the Department of Corrections that focused on those kinds of traumas, it would bring the relapse rate down. I am one of the first 100 women to complete the program. 

Thank you.

My name is Tiadora White and here is my testimony about my experience at Riverside Correctional Facility. All of my life I have struggled with trauma and substance abuse. To be short, I was dealt a bad set of cards in life. I was never taught skills to cope or deal with my issues and I handled them the only way I knew how. I self-medicated, which in turn led me down a life path of trouble. I was never a bad person, I just made bad decisions. Where did that lead me? Losing everything, homeless, trouble with the law, short stints in mental health facilities. It was a never-ending cycle that I was born into and could not get away from! But I was not always like this. I grew up on the Fort Peck Indian Reservation and I witnessed my childhood boyfriend of 5 years commit suicide in front of me, at the age of 17. Without any social skills or coping mechanisms, I fell into a dark hole that lasted almost 8 years, where I ended at Riverside. With this being my first serious offense, I thank the Lord that I was fortunate and blessed enough for my first DOC charge to be served there. Of course, I am not proud of the mistakes I have made. But Riverside truly saved my life. Riverside did something for me that no one had ever done before. The amazing people there treated me like a person and not just another DOC number. Instead of tearing me down and treating me like an animal, they helped me to see my self-worth and they helped me to get to the root of all my troubles. Instead of beating substance abuse workbooks down my throat, we did life-changing ceremonies and group activities that helped me to find closure from the terrible things I have witnessed and been through in my lifetime. They helped me deal with all the skeletons in my closet that have been haunting me and helping to steer my decision-making. I can honestly say that going to Riverside was the best thing that happened to me in my life thus far.  Society today expects offenders to get out and not reoffend when all they do is lock them in a room and then never address the reason why the crime was committed in the first place. And no, it’s not always just because a junkie needs a fix. Almost always there is a dark seeded trauma that has started everything. America has one of the highest incarceration rates and one of the highest reoffend rates. Obviously, what penitentiary and law officers are doing is not working. Riverside wanted to make a change in the way they treat an offender. All positivity and self-growth to help change your thinking. And I 100% agree with them. I can think of a million reasons why I’m so thankful for Riverside, but just to name a few, I have become healthier spiritually, physically and mentally. I am not perfect, but because of them, I was able to learn new skills to deal with what this hard life can throw at me. Three years later, I am off paper, a mother of a beautiful 2-year-old, employed and free! Finally, free from the dark oppressive hole I had been stuck in for so long.  And I thank God for that. Bring back Riverside and you’ll bring back a change. Thank you.

STRENGTH. That is what I learned I had and what would get me through life (amongst a few other things, like love and patience). But strength is such a profound thing to believe in. I know that throughout my life, I used to hide behind “tough,” “cold,” and “indifferent”. I was just holding onto pain, hurt, anger, and sadness. But strength was something that I never thought that I had, and I didn’t know how to use it, even if I did.

So, I can’t tell you exactly what my 1st strength was without digging out my book, but I can tell you that I have used quite a few of my strengths while at Riverside, as well as now. 

While at Riverside, my strength led me to my truth. The truth about how my life was and how I was perceiving it to be, are two totally different realities. Acceptance of the truth was probably the hardest part. No more hiding behind alcohol and lies to myself and others. If I was going to make it, I was going to always have to know what my REALITY was. I have to know what my obstacles are. I needed a plan for most everything. But if I stayed in reality, I could find the strength (and what kind of strength) to use to move around the obstacles.

Life has not been perfect for me. I fell. I got back up and pulled it together. I might have to do that a lot for the rest of my life, but I will never just quit.

Strength is my savior.

I was fortunate to have been a resident at Riverside. I met so many talented and caring staff that I almost couldn’t believe it! I took a lot out of that program and I prove it every day. I am fully employed at a job I love and I can honestly communicate with my family, I can be honest with myself. I don’t have to fight for a good life anymore. I take it bit by bit, do what I can and have dreams. I continue with therapy, I discharged my parole, I have savings in the bank.

Strength brought me home.

My name is Raelene Evans, formally known as inmate number 3077907. I was counted, I was classified, and I was remanded to the DOC system. Being issued a number like this is definitely not something people should be proud of. I find pride in it though because it was something that helped me to become the person that I am today. It took me a long time to realize that and to be grateful for my past. When you are given one of these numbers though, you were stripped of who you are. The only face you have is the photo taken known as your mug shot. When these “photos” are taken, most people are hopeless and broken, and have hit the bottom. The only thing we are known for at the time, was the crimes that we have committed. I had already done a substantial period of jail time a few months at a pre-release facility and a lengthy treatment program. I only made it a few months in pre-release, and I was sent back to jail with the recommendation of attending and completing the Riverside Reentry Program. I was given a vague description of the program by an internal probation and parole officer. The understanding that I had was that it was a trauma-based program. I filled out the application, signed my name, and carried on with the assumption that it was just going to be the same old facility. My story was riddled with trauma and I had already completed another treatment program. So, I figured jumping through the hoops and completing my necessary sentence would be something that I would just grin and bear about and get through it. The moment I got off the transport vehicle outside of Riverside doors, I knew this was a different place. Upon entering, I was not strip searched, which was something that was extra dehumanizing for me. As previously mentioned, trauma was something that was prominent in my life, including sexual trauma. When you’re placed in a situation that brings up memories like that, it is called re-traumatization. However, the staff was warm and welcoming. We started the paperwork and I began learning the rules and procedures of the facility. Low and behold, I soon became aware that this definitely was not the same old treatment facility I’ve become used to. Trauma was actually going to be addressed. We still had rules, guidelines, and procedures that followed the DOC mandate. But the objection of the program was to resolve trauma-based issues, finding healing, and helping inmates be more prepared for the outside world, and to becoming productive members of society was the goal. In a few short days, I will have three years sober. The tools and techniques that I learned at the Riverside Reentry Program are undeniably tools that have helped me to become all of the things I’ve needed and wanted to be. My ability to establish healthy relationships, healthy communication, and to be a successful sober human being got better every day. And I owe a great deal of that to the staff at Riverside. It is absolutely amazing the transformation that I saw within myself and countless girls before and after me. People that not only we ourselves, but the system deemed hopeless. How many times do people say we would never be able to make it? That we would continually circle through the system until one day the trauma or the disease, or whatever struggles we were facing, would take us to the grave. I stand here today to prove all of those theories wrong. Michael Johnson took on the task that would seem to some as impossible. In coordination with the other members of his staff, they made the impossible a reality. We are not all hopeless, there is a hope that shines brighter than the sun. There is a way for us to not only recover, but to become better people. I found this hope and this truth while being in Riverside. I would like to give an unmeasurable thank you to Mr. Johnson, Miss Champagne, Mr. Seymour and the rest of the Riverside staff. Thank you for believing in me, thank you for helping me to grow. Thank you for showing me what bravery actually means. Thank you for helping me get my daughter back and being the mother that she deserves to have. Thank you for allowing me to be a mother to a beautiful baby boy who never has to know me through my addiction. And thank you for going above and beyond your call of service.

I entered Riverside not knowing exactly how or why I got there. The place felt heavy and gray. In fact, for days I did not see any color other than grey. When I arrived, I felt a contrasting combination of fear, anxiety/excitement, hopelessness, and hope.

I expected to be met by people with control and power issues and instead was met by people who were open minded and had a sense of fairness. I also expected to be met with mean spirited and judgmental officers. Again, I was met by people who were seeking betterment. When Riversides correctional counselors met and spoke with women, they did it non-judgmental with an open- minded fairness. These correctional counselors knew that they didn’t have to be a therapist to be therapeutic. I am forever grateful for each one of them.

Riverside changed my life. It opened my eyes to the realization that we can create phenomenal change when we believe we can. It also taught me to check my preconceived judgements about others and to be open to relating with the humaneness of other humans.

Riverside was incredibly important to me in so many ways. I learned the value of my often taken for granted life. I learned the value of the person behind the uniform. I learned the value of sharing experiences no matter how hard it was. I learned the value of what my spirit is capable of. Today my world is full of many awe inspiring colors.

With much love and gratitude,

I have been blessed repeatedly in my nursing career, but as I move closer to my retirement date, I take time to reflect on some of those special moments with special people.  My time as “the-nurse” for the incarcerated women at the Riverside program within the Montana system rises to the top of my gratitude list.  Decisions made above our pay grade limited the length of time the program was open, but as a professional nurse and tax-paying citizen, I believe with all my heart and fiscal experience that a trauma informed professional staff and trauma responsive programming for rehabilitation is most cost effective for the participant and public, alike.  Being able to treat those in need holistically through trauma-responsive programming is not only the most humane means of assisting these individuals but provides the needed footing back into productive lives, where they want to be, and keeping them there, long term.  And it certainly provided me the opportunity to deliver the best nursing care of my career, and I hope and pray for the day another program like this is implemented in our great State. Though a paradigm shift for some institutionalized systems, I believe a great new world would shine if this programming was implemented throughout the correctional world.